I teach yoga for the staff at Joseph’s school, and one of the regulars is his special ed teacher, Dana. Usually we focus on yoga but, every now and then, she’ll share with me a tidbit about Joseph when class is over. Last week, for instance, she wanted to tell me about the “miracle” that happened.

For months Dana has tried to get Joseph to leave his session with her and walk into the cafeteria (for lunch) by himself. Now, the cafeteria is a challenge unto itself, being noisy, crowded and somewhat unstructured, but the big deal was that he’s always refused to go in without his aide. On the day of the miracle, Joseph walked over, found a friend, and went into the cafeteria with him. And he’s been doing it ever since.

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!

Another one: This morning I walked Joseph to his classroom. Never, ever in the past has he allowed me to leave before his aide shows up, but today he let me kiss him and go. Wow! On my way back to the car I saw his aide coming up, and I excitedly told her what happened. “Yup,” she replied. “Takes about 100 repetitions and then he can do something.”

I laughed. “Blue Eyes and I say it takes 500!”

Repetitions. What a great way to learn patience. What a marvelous way for my character to be formed. What great sandpaper for my rough spots.

Will it ever end????

Sigh…probably not. And it gets more complicated. Now we are endeavoring to teach him to speak to us with respect, to clean up after himself without being reminded…that sort of thing. It feels endless. Maybe it is. Maybe every parent feels this way. Maybe I’m going to set myself on fire.

sugarEaster was full of sugar, and right afterward we took a week’s vacation. Think ice creams and other sweet things — the kind of thing you do when you’re on vacation.

Trouble is, by the time we got home, we saw that candida had taken over Joseph. He was spacey, stimmy, tantrummy, and an overall pain in the butt. We put him on a sugar-free cleanse, which has been devastating for him. Almost every morning he wakes up and starts an argument with me. When can I have sugar? Can I have it if we go to the lake in the summer time? Can I have it on June 6th, the last day of school? Can I have a soda the next time I go to a restaurant?

It’s relentless. I am trying to do my Love and Logic — I love you too much to argue — and leaving the room, but this kid will not let it go. It’s a major struggle.

Our Love and Logic Instructor once wrote on the whiteboard four big letters:

C
T
F
D

 

Calm The F*** Down.

i pray for long-term perspective. For more patience during these phases that require so much repetition. I pray to remember that things take longer with Joseph, and that I need to take care of myself in order to deal with his special needs. Last, but definitely not least, I pray  to CTFD in those trying times.

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