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I love our meditation group. Every Tuesday night, friends — old and new — come over to join in meditation together.

We started it a year ago and it was a huge stretch, given that we were exhausted physically, mentally and spiritually from our journey with Joseph. One of the biggest obstacles was that I didn’t feel I had the energy to get the house clean every week — much less have any spiritual clarity or inspiration to share.

But here’s the thing: it wanted to happen. So I got out of the way and let it happen. Now I find that it’s easy to keep the house up. Instead of having to clean for three hours because we invited friends over, I just run the vacuum cleaner over the rug and say, “Come on over!” A kept-up house is an easy house to keep up. Wish I’d discovered that years ago!

And the energy has come. At first we were simply exhausted every Tuesday night. But something’s shifted in the last year, and now all three of us look forward — with energy — to sharing our Tuesday nights with fellow devotees.

This last Tuesday, I got inspired by a loyal member of our meditation group: our cat, Ollie. Ollie, like all members of his species, has perfected the art of deep relaxation, and this is what he was practicing while the rest of us meditated. At some point I heard him heave a deep SIGH of contentment — the kind of sound you make when you’re slipping even more deeply into rest, when you’re surrendering perfectly.

I immediately imitated Ollie, heaving a deep SIGH and just letting go into the Light. More and more in my meditations there is a part where I simply rest in God, and Ollie providentially reminded me to do that.

It was, in a word, Divine.

Sweet rest. Sweet letting go. Sweet, sweet surrender. I am remembering to lay down my burdens and be who I truly am: a child of God. I lay my head in Divine Mother’s lap and allow her to cradle me. It nourishes me on a deep level.

I’ve been thinking about the concept of holding lately. We hold others in prayer; we hold them in our thoughts; we hold them in our hearts; we hold them in the Light.

A lot of people have held me in the last four years, since getting the autism diagnosis. Some were old friends, some were family; some were new people who showed up, I believe — professionals and new friends — just to hold us through our struggles.

It’s been so intense. Words cannot express. Sometimes life hits you so hard that you can’t stand up by yourself. I never could have made it without being held. I am eternally grateful to those who did the holding — and to God, who held me up through them.

I listened to a pastor speak recently. He told about a dreadful tragedy that befell him where he and his beloved wife got into a car accident. She was killed. He went in and out of consciousness, but finally woke up for real in the hospital. At that point he was told about his wife’s death.

The pastor said that the first thing he realized was that, as tragic as the situation was, God was in it. And that this God was the same God that had been there before the accident.

So powerful. And so true of all of it — the whole journey — mine, yours, everybody’s. God is in it. This is what I held onto when it took all my strength to get out of bed in the mornings. This is what kept me going when I felt so hopeless about Joseph. This is the concept I clung to even when I didn’t feel its truth anywhere near me.

Now, with Joseph making almost daily progress, with sleep happening for him and for me, with a beautiful, supportive group of people to meditate with, I feel grateful. And humble.

What a life. What a journey.

Thank you, God, for being in it.

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